Couples
Therapy
Relationships Can Bring so Much Joy. They Can Also Trigger Intense Pain.
Are you struggling in your relationship? Has the connection faded? Perhaps one of you feels betrayed, and trust needs to be rebuilt. Maybe you or your partner have grown bored or disappointed over time, longing for something more. As couples evolve, differences or ineffective communication can lead to resentment, conflict, and even hostility. Or perhaps your relationship is thriving, but you’re eager to make it even better by leveraging the latest insights. Couples therapy is my specialty. I have spent countless hours researching and mastering effective therapy techniques to support couples like you. Whatever your situation, I am confident that I can help. I also have experience working with the LGBTQIA+ community.
Not only do I love helping couples in my practice, but I am also deeply committed to exploring the latest research and insights on relationship dynamics. My passion for the field has led me to publish several peer-reviewed articles on the subject. Curious to see my work? Click the links below to explore my published articles and see the evidence of my dedication to the field of couples therapy.
Check out this video from my book and audiobook, Beyond Fairy Tales, where I explore the transformative power of Reflective Empathic Compassion, a practice that fosters deeper intimacy and connection in relationships. Learn how to approach your partner with curiosity, tune into their emotions, and offer care that meets their unique needs.
Check out this video from my book and audiobook, Beyond Fairy Tales, where I unpack the SANE Approach—a practical tool to help couples ease tension and deepen their connection.
Relationships
Healthy relationships are the cornerstone of a happy and meaningful life. The sense of belonging and connection we find in relationships is a powerful driving force. I’m here to help you build the confidence to navigate relationships effectively—from mastering communication and emotional skills to understanding the complex dynamics that shape how you and your partner see each other. Many of us struggle with relationships, whether it’s choosing the wrong person, neglecting our own needs, or misreading our partner’s intentions. Yet, relationships are both complex and exciting, offering endless opportunities for growth and deeper intimacy. I love working with clients to explore these dimensions, deepen their understanding of intimacy, and learn how to navigate specific recurring dynamics.
As a couples therapist, I bring specialized training in the latest and most effective approaches to couples therapy. My counseling is experiential, attachment-oriented, and deeply rooted in understanding the brain and arousal states, such as those related to trauma and nervous system regulation. The field of couples therapy has evolved, and outdated methods like traditional communication training often fall short because they focus on the verbal, rational parts of the brain. These are the very parts that go offline when we’re highly emotional or upset.
Recent advancements in couples therapy have introduced powerful new tools that allow for faster and more effective change. I’ve integrated these cutting-edge approaches into my practice, focusing on how the brain functions, how arousal and threat responses trigger behaviors, and how to facilitate secure attachment. This type of work helps couples understand how their partner’s brain operates and what they can do to shift both partners from a state of fight-or-flight to one of safety and connection.
When we don’t feel safe, our brains are primed to either attack or shut down. In these challenging moments, verbal or rational solutions often fail. By using techniques like touch, tone of voice, and proximity, couples can learn to communicate with the deeper, subcortical parts of the brain, shifting their internal states from defense, attack, or freeze to collaboration, support, and mutual care.
Couples Therapy Approach
Because relationship issues can be complex, they require evidence-based practices. My primary approach with couples is the evidence-based model of Emotionally Focused Therapy, which I also integrate with David Mars’ Transformative Couples Therapy®.
Emotionally Focused Therapy is:
- Grounded in Research: EFT is rooted in clear and explicit conceptualizations of marital distress and adult love, supported by extensive empirical research on these topics.
- Collaborative and Respectful: EFT blends experiential Rogerian techniques with structural systemic interventions, creating a therapeutic approach that is both collaborative and respectful of clients.
- Structured and Specific: EFT offers well-defined change strategies and interventions, with key moves and pivotal moments in the change process mapped out into nine steps and three significant change events.
- Empirically Validated: EFT has been validated by over 20 years of empirical research, including studies on the change processes and predictors of success.
- Versatile Application: EFT has been successfully applied to a wide range of problems and diverse populations, demonstrating its versatility and effectiveness across different contexts.
- Expand and Reorganize Emotional Responses: EFT aims to deepen and reshape key emotional responses, which are central to the dynamics of attachment in a relationship.
- Shift Interaction Patterns: The therapy seeks to alter partners’ interactional patterns, encouraging new, healthier cycles of engagement.
- Foster Secure Bonds: A primary goal of EFT is to help partners build a secure and lasting emotional bond.
David Mars’ Transformative Couples Therapy®
David Mars’ Transformative Couples Therapy® is like a breath of fresh air for relationships, combining the best of brain science and heart wisdom. Imagine this: instead of getting stuck in the same old arguments or feeling miles apart from each other, you start to really see and feel your partner again. TCT is all about tuning into the subtle, often overlooked signals—the little gestures, the emotions bubbling under the surface, the way your body reacts in the moment. It’s not just about talking things out; it’s about feeling your way back to each other, one small step at a time.
This approach gently guides you from those knee-jerk reactions that drive you apart to a place where you can really connect. It’s about creating a safe space where you can both drop the defenses and let the real stuff—the love, the fear, the hope—shine through. With TCT, you start to build a relationship that’s not just surviving but thriving, where both of you feel seen, heard, and held in the ways that matter most. It’s a little like learning to dance together again, only this time, you’re both moving to the same beautiful rhythm.
For more information on TCT, check out David Mars’ website: https://www.cfttsite.com/david-mars-phd-mft
Whether your relationship is in crisis or you simply have some challenges to work through, I’m here to help. Couples counseling is my specialty, and I’m dedicated to supporting you. If you’re ready to strengthen your relationship, please reach out by filling out the contact form below!
In their eighth session, a husband’s numb withdrawal shifts into profound vulnerability as he finally shares his deep feelings of inadequacy in meeting his wife’s needs. He expresses his desire to be seen as capable and opens himself up to her, moving from saying, “There’s no point in talking to you. I don’t want to fight,” to “I do want to be close. I want you to give me a chance. Stop poking me and let me learn to be there for you.” As he changes, his wife’s critical anger transforms into fear and sadness, revealing her underlying need for connection. She moves from, “You just don’t care. You don’t get it,” to “It’s so hard to say, but I need you to hold me, reassure me—can you?”
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) would approach this situation by helping the couple identify and express the deeper emotions driving their negative interactions. The therapist would create a safe environment where the husband can explore his feelings of inadequacy and fear, moving him from emotional detachment to vulnerability. This shift would allow him to communicate his desire for connection and competence to his wife. The wife, in turn, would be encouraged to explore and express her fears of abandonment and her need for reassurance, transforming her anger into a plea for connection. EFT helps the couple move from a destructive cycle of pursue-withdraw to a positive cycle where both partners feel understood and valued.
Transformative Couples Therapy® (TCT) would complement this work by identifying and amplifying the subtle signs of affection and connection that still exist between the husband and wife—the glimmers of love that can be built upon. By focusing on these positive moments, TCT helps the couple shift from what’s not working to what is. The therapist would also integrate principles from neuroscience and somatic awareness, guiding the couple to understand and regulate their nervous system responses during conflict. This approach helps the husband stay present in his vulnerability, allowing his wife to see and respond to him with empathy and care. At the same time, TCT encourages the wife to recognize and appreciate her husband’s efforts to change, fostering a deeper emotional connection and a more secure, loving relationship.
This combined approach ensures that the relationship becomes a safe haven and a source of healing for both partners, grounded in understanding and mutual growth.
Don’t let relationship challenges hold you back. Whether you’re facing a crisis or just need help working through some issues, I’m here to support you. As a specialist in couples therapy, I have the expertise to guide you toward a stronger, healthier relationship. Don’t struggle alone—reach out to me for support. Together, we can navigate your challenges and create a more fulfilling partnership.
