When your faith is changing
Religious
Refugees
(De)Constructing Toward Spiritual and Emotional Healing
Questioning your faith can affect your relationships, your sense of who you are, and how you want to live. This book offers help with the emotional side of that change.
Dr. Mark Gregory KarrisTherapist · Theologian · Author
Working through a change in faith
When you’re questioning your faith
When what you once believed no longer makes sense.
A change in faith can reach far beyond what you believe. It can unsettle your relationships, your sense of belonging, and the story you’ve told about who you are.
In Religious Refugees, I draw from psychology, theology, philosophy, and my own experience to explore what happens when we question our faith and begin figuring out what we believe now.
You can question what you were taught and take care of yourself while you work through it.
Inside the book
What you’ll find in the book
The book has three parts covering why people question their faith, the emotions that come with it, and how to move forward.
The Big Picture
Understand the wider story of faith deconstruction—and recognize where you may be on the journey.
Explore the 2 chapters
- We Are Legion
- Stations of the D/R Journey
The Inside Scoop
Make sense of the grief, emotions, inner conflicts, and protective responses that a faith shift can bring.
Explore the 4 chapters
- The Splinters
- Making Sense of the Mayhem
- The Electricity of Emotions
- Shock Absorbers
The Way Forward
Explore relationships, practices, and principles that support a more compassionate way of living.
Explore the 7 chapters
- The Blessing of an Unholy Huddle
- The Invitation to Love Thyself
- The Blocks and Pathways to Divine Intimacy
- The Anchor of God’s Unconventional Love
- The Sacred Art of Uncommon Prayer
- The Gift of the “F” Word
- The Power of Love, Service, and Valued-Living
Living through a change in faith
How changing beliefs can affect your life
The book connects spiritual questions with the emotional and relational work of living through change.
Reflection questions at the end of each chapter invite deeper exploration—on your own or in community.
Make room for grief
Name the losses that can accompany a change in beliefs, identity, or community.
Meet yourself with compassion
Explore a kinder response to the shame, fear, and self-criticism that may arise.
Find safe people
Think about who you can talk with openly and who will listen without trying to change your mind.
Revisit your image of God
Consider how inherited beliefs and lived experiences shape your sense of the divine.
Explore forgiveness and prayer
Consider what forgiveness and prayer mean to you now and whether they have a place in your life.
Live what matters to you
Think about the values you want to live by, even while you’re unsure what you believe.
My own experience
I’ve wrestled with
these questions, too.
“I am writing this book because of my passionate desire that no one feels alone during their difficult D/R journey.”
Mark Gregory Karris · From the introduction
As a therapist, theologian, and ordained pastor who has navigated his own faith shift, Mark brings both professional understanding and personal experience to these pages.
Watch & explore
Videos about the book and leaving church
Explore a conversation about leaving church, the book’s trailer, and a special shout-out.
Why people leave the institutional churchExplore the questions behind a faith shift
A glimpse of Religious RefugeesWatch the book trailer
A shout-out from Chandler RiggsActor from The Walking Dead
Praise for Religious Refugees
What others are saying about the book
Words from authors, theologians, and spiritual guides.
“Austrian theologian Frederick von Hugel (1852-1925) compared the church as an organization to the bark on a tree. Bark is dead wood, but it protects the dynamic life surging within the tree from disease, dehydration, death. Mark Karris has gifted all of us with a valuable resource on how to deal with the crusty bark while tapping into the sap and living off the fruit of the tree.”
Leonard Sweet
“If you’re in the middle of what Mark Karris calls the D/R Process (deconstruction and reconstruction of your faith), you absolutely need Mark’s new book. With the wisdom of a philosopher, the skill of a counselor, the tenderness of a gentle parent, and the accessibility of an old friend, Mark meets you where you are, walks with you, and points to a beautiful way forward, what he (and Mother Teresa) call “the simple path.” This is a powerfully helpful book and needed now more than ever!”
Brian D. McLaren
“What I love about Religious Refugees is the balanced approached Mark Karris takes toward spiritual recovery by respecting both domains of theology and psychology. Well-studied in each field, Karris professionally and compassionately helps readers make peace with their faith without losing their minds or sacrificing dignity. Whether you’re nurturing your own religious journey or guiding someone who is, this book is a must-read!”
Jennifer Knapp
“Mark Karris’s Religious Refugees is a compelling guidebook for religious refugees seeking the wisdom and tools to move beyond unhealthy views of God and walk this sacred path toward spiritual and emotional maturity.”
Pete Enns
“With refreshing honestly, unconventional insight, and tender grace, Mark help struggling and former Christians discern a path forward to a more wholistic, fulfilling, and compelling kind of faith in Christ. How I wish I’d had a guide like Religious Refugees when I went through my painful faith crisis as a young person! If you or someone you care about is facing a faith crisis, this is the book you’re looking for!”
Dr. Greg Boyd
“In my work as a spiritual director and friend to people experiencing a painful faith deconstruction, I am always grateful for material that helps give language and hope for the messy and beautiful road to greater freedom in our faith. Mark Karris is right–the numbers are legion–and so many are seeking tools and guides to not just survive but thrive. Religious Refugees will help readers not only find themselves in the story but also offers what so many are seeking–tangible and accessible ways forward.”
Kathy Escobar
“If you are interested in truly understanding what is going on with Christianity in America today so that you can build something new for yourself or others, then Religious Refugees is for you. With an eye toward productive, reconstructive actions from the beginning, Mark Karris deftly lays out what is so unsatisfying about modern, institutional religious expressions and how they can be re-imagined and rebuilt.”
Josh Packard
“A person could read five different books on the deconstruction and reconstruction process of leaving religion, or they could read, Religious Refugees: (De)Constructing Toward Spiritual and Emotional Healing by Mark Karris. I consider this book an invaluable and comprehensive resource for any person who is in the process of deconstruction and reconstruction.”
Jim Palmer
“Religious Refugees should be required reading for all spiritual directors, therapists, pastors, indeed all who are walking with others in the deeper journey.”
Lacy Finn Borgo
A place to begin
Want to read Religious Refugees?
If you’re questioning your faith or trying to understand someone who is, this book is for you.